My Sweet Funny Valentine

“You have a place in my heart no one else ever could have.”  
^{The Ice Palace}

“You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known - and even that is an understatement.”
^{Letter to Zelda Fitzgerald}

“I love her, and that’s the beginning and end of everything.”
^{The Great Gatsby}

I couldn’t choose just one favorite quote from my favorite author, F. Scott Fitzgerald, so I narrowed it down to the 3 I think are most romantic. If you couldn’t tell, I love quotes and song lyrics. 🎶 I Cross My Heart, Remember When, Your Song 🎶 . Like many people, I like to ‘see myself’ — my life, my love, my feelings — in song lyrics. Unlike many people, I also like to cry to good song lyrics. Once the tears start flowing, I’ll even put it on repeat; I need to catch all the words.

Back to subject: love. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I thought I’d share about my first Valentine’s Day with Wyatt, which is probably my favorite, and definitely the most memorable, of the 25 that we’ve shared.

It was our Freshman year of college. We had only been dating a few months, so I’m not sure what I was expecting. My dorm-mate and best friend throughout middle and high school let Wyatt into our room to “decorate” for Valentine’s Day. Wyatt had bought a box of valentines (the inexpensive ones with perforation, probably 20 or so cards in the box). He wrote something on every single card and hid them throughout the room. The most unforgettable ones were the cards he wrote various social security numbers on, including my own. I’m sure you’re thinking, “What the heck? That’s weird.” I did, too. That’s when he told me what the real gift was — letting me in on his most intimate secret, something no one else knew about him. He then tells me that he has multiple social security numbers and that the large scar down the side of his face was from his dad slicing his face with a knife. His family had been on the run from the law ever since, and that is why he had multiple social security numbers. Me? Hook, line, and sinker. His showing of love was to let me in on this secret.

This was a gift that kept giving. Literally, because I’d find the hidden valentine cards throughout my dorm room until I moved out of it. Figuratively, because I believed him for years until someone in his family mentioned his surgery scar. Years…YEARS later.

The cards were a clever, hilarious idea, and at the time, I thought it was so romantic. But the cards weren’t all he had up his sleeve that day. To take it up a notch, he also gave me a cellophane heart-shaped Valentine’s Day balloon, a stuffed bear, a heart-shaped box of chocolates, and a faux snakeskin wallet from Walmart with the tags still on it. He checked aaalll the traditional Valentine’s Day boxes.

I love this man; I did then, too. I was really hoping for a ring. Dead serious, that was my only disappointment. I’ll save my first gift from him, a Christmas gift, for another time. Needless to say, he’s since honed his skills.

One of my favorite Wyatt specialties is “It’s All About You, Babe Day.” I made up that name because it’s fun, and we like to name our special days — “Friday Night in the Big Town” (we stole that one from friends), “Saturday iPad Day,” “Pre- and Post- Birthday.” Back to “It’s All About You Babe Day”. . . I wake up to my favorite restaurant breakfast in bed, served by my 3 favorite people. I spend the day doing whatever I want, and I don’t have to think about where I want to go or what I want to eat. I just enjoy guiltless laziness and only have to choose my shows, when to nap, and whether I want to go anywhere. “It’s All About You, Babe Day” can be a birthday, anniversary, no-reason-at-all day, or a Valentine’s Day.

The takeaway from this is the best Valentine’s Day gift is thoughtfulness. Whether a sincere letter or an exotic vacation, thoughtfulness is the key.

With that in mind, let’s take another look at those gifts Wyatt got me for my favorite Valentine’s Day (Feb 14, 2000):

Valentine’s Candy
There is nothing wrong with a sweet treat. In fact, one of my oldest and dearest friends chose her boyfriend, now husband of 19 years, in part because he demonstrated his thoughtfulness when he remembered her favorite candy and brought her an entire box of it on a date. Try to find their favorite sweet treat or something really unique — pass on the giant heart boxes with generic “chocolate” in the display bins at Walmart.

Balloons
Unless you are being funny, I’d skip the balloon and go for flowers instead. Flowers can be pricey, but you can get them very inexpensively at a grocery store (try Trader Joes). One flower in the right vase says a lot, too.

Teddy Bear
Nope, unless your valentine is not yet in 6th grade. My dad once sent me a balloon with a giant troll in it to my school for Valentine’s Day, and it meant the world to me. That was circa 1990, and yes, I collected troll dolls.

Wallet
On its face, its a no unless it is a wallet he or she would love. Showing that you remembered something they have hinted at wanting? Yes, but remember, there are some “needs” and “hints” that don’t count as thoughtful gifts. I’ve seen this happen and the lack of intimacy embarrasses me for both the giver and receiver. A new roof, a new dishwasher — not thoughtful gifts.

I hope you enjoyed this newsletter and that you enjoy the upcoming holiday as am opportunity to celebrate the love you receive and the love you give- whether spiritually, familial, friendship, etc.

I am a lawyer, wife, mom, an overcomer, collector of vintage, lover of pre-code movies and supporter of artisans.  My 1964 home doesn't have a large closet.  It is not full of shoes, accessories or clothes.  But, you will find most items in it I've owned for years.  I'm not into fast, disposable fashion.  I buy quality items that I love and will last past the latest trend.  I started Myrna Mame because of my love of beautiful things, artisan goods, travel and style.  I have devoted my adult life thus far to the law but as I get older and face a life battling brain cancer I reflect upon my time, it is my heart's desire to pursue my passion.