Myrna Mame's 2023 gift guide

“I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.”

Maya Angelou

Can you believe it’s almost time for the holidays?! If you’re anything like me, the holidays often require a lot of stress to get to the lovely — the decorations, the food, the gifts — none of it just happens; you gotta plan and work for it. I come by it honest, though. My mom would begin having nightly nightmares months before Christmas due to gift-giving anxiety.

Gift giving. It’s an art. I’m not the best gift-giver, but my husband is. He has great taste and often knows what I need, or would love, before I do. Over the years, we’ve talked a lot about the thought process of a good gift-giver, and we’ve broken it down to two fundamental questions that I think will serve you well as the shopping season kicks into high gear:

1) Is this something I would want, or is it something they would want? Simple enough, right? On its face, yes, but what’s implied in this question is an honest assessment of how well you know the person and to what extent you are willing to indulge their interests (even when they’re not your own). If you haven’t taken the time to understand who they are and what makes them tick, it will be hard to answer this question honestly. Oh, and it should go without saying, but buying someone a gift to passive-aggressively “send a message” or make them more like what you want them to be is a major gift-giving foul.

2) Is this something they could easily buy for themselves? Spoiler: The answer should always be no. A good gift-giver puts in the time and thinks beyond the obvious. If you think they might say “I was going to get one of these but never got around to it,” or “oh my gosh, I needed one of these,” you’re probably missing the boat. You’re not a personal shopper or errand runner. Try to come up with something they don’t have on their to-do list.

Now to some of my favorite gift ideas. If you don’t want to read any further and would prefer to see a comprehensive list of my faves, click here. For those of you who want to read on…

Stocking Stuffers — Quality over quantity

People generally like novelty- more novelty than trinket-y.

I’m Native American and from Oklahoma, so Choctaw-made Bedré chocolates is a small gift I like to give. If you love an amazing tea shop or coffee roaster, buy fresh coffee beans or tea for the drink lovers in your life. Make it extra special with a handmade scoop/spoon or tea infuser.

Consider small things you have — and l.o.v.e. — that you think they might love, too. My 2023 “everyday favorite things” are practical but most likely unknown to a lot of my friends and family. Examples: a $22 face halo makeup remover pad, a $20 wrist band face washing set, a $31 artisan-made head covering /stocking cap alternative. These are tiny things that are perfect stocking stuffers for the right person.

For a more substantial stocking stuffer, consider a small item from a high-end brand, like a luxurious hand cream, lipstick or nail polish. But remember, it must be what they’d want but wouldn’t buy for themselves.

A Man For All Seasons 

In my opinion, men are hard to buy for, but maybe it’s just my husband. He’s very low-maintenance and wants for nothing. So the challenge is to find things he will like and, if at all possible, find a use for in his daily life.

If the man in your life is involved in business, match the moment to the man. He might need a portfolio, briefcase, or weekender. For example, my husband is a lawyer. He doesn’t travel, but he works from home and is legal counsel for a non-profit. He doesn’t need a flashy briefcase or more than a few tailored suits; otherwise, he might appear pretentious. On the flip-side, a male friend of mine is a trademark attorney at an international law firm in Washington D.C. He might need, and enjoy, a custom-made suit, a tie pin, cuff links, a shoehorn, a fancy portfolio, a noticeable briefcase, or a really nice weekender.

Shoes

I think it’s safe to say all men would enjoy custom shoes. I once read an article in a men’s magazine about a man’s secret obsession that he discovered he shared with other men across the world. It was an obsession with an Italian shoemaker and cobbler. Even my “every man” husband gets it. About 7 years ago, we bought Wyatt some nice leather shoes in Florence, Italy. Not too dressy, not too casual, just right. He eventually wore the tread off the bottom of the shoes, which caused him to almost bite it a few times when he slipped in the rain. But did he stop wearing them? No. He was willing to risk public embarrassment and injury for the shoes he loved. Seven years later, I took the shoes in to be restored. While they were in the cobbler shop, I reached out to the shoemaker (who now has a store in the USA) and bought a similar style boot to tide him over until his trusty shoes were as good as new.

Coffee

My man’s favorite gift to himself is an espresso machine. Yes, he did the math to make sure over time the cost was worth it. It is a gift that keeps giving. It’s an investment. His favorite at-home machine is the Breville BES870XL. He says it took about a week to master it, so there will be a bit of a learning curve — also part of the gift!

A less expensive, hands-on coffee maker is Wyatt’s starter obsession, a moka pot. I don’t even make the coffee, but when I drink it from one of these little pots, I feel swept away to a tiny little coffee shop in Italy, without the cigarette smoke.

Headphones

I include these here because my husband cannot live without his over-the-head sleep headphones, and he probably never would have gotten them for himself. In fact, he went so far as to wrap the headband of his first pair with black electrical tape to hold them together…so I had to get him a new pair.

“I have no clue what to give”

Sometimes, we just have no idea what someone is into. Thankfully, there are some things almost everyone likes. The trick is to find a way to make generic gifts special. Here are some ideas.

Food

Different regions of the world are known for producing certain foods — wine, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, coffee, tea, etc. — that make great gifts most people will appreciate. For example, I love Italy. My favorite wines are Prosecco and Chianti Classico. Chianti is only created by wineries the Chianti region of Tuscany. We learned about it while on a Florence food tour. We also learned about balsamic vinegar priced over 100 euros per bottle. Who knew? It was tasty.

The point is, you can order wine, whisky, coffee, tea, olive oil, balsamic vinegar from a unique origin and give it as a gift. Tell the story and package it well. Chances are it’ll be a hit. Take it up a notch with an artisan-made wine stopper, coffee set, dipping set (pictured below). You’ll get bonus points if you can source something from a place you know is special to them (where they vacationed, where they honeymooned, where they went to school, etc.).

Another idea for food — if you ate at a delicious landmark restaurant on a trip, see if you can order their products online. Chicago’s not my favorite city, but I must have Giordano’s at least once a year. My mouth is watering as I type this. I could eat pizza daily. In fact, I ate it twice today. Twice. Can’t go wrong with delicious pizza with a fun story.

Family Fun

People love playing games and connecting with one another. Puzzles, card games, dominos, chess, and so on. From 8 to 80, just about everyone enjoys playing games. There are a number of fun, handmade game sets out there. I recommend finding one that is beautiful or made from a unique material.

Another great family gift idea is a mini Solo Stove. It’s an easy and cost-effective way for almost every family to enjoy a campfire, toast some s’mores, roast some hotdogs, or just sit and have a fireside chat. There are other sizes available, but the small one has been the perfect size for our family.

Subscriptions

Subscriptions are gifts that keeps giving. Masterclass and Audible give and give all year long. I listen to my books on Audible daily, and goodness knows I really want to “attend” a Kelly Wearstler MasterClass.

Subscriptions are also a great gift for kids. My boys love Little Passports and museum memberships.

Grandparents

One of my grannies collects silhouettes. So, I once had a silhouette of my boys made by an artisan. I bought a traditional one for her and a colorful modern one for myself.

Where my ladies at?

If you need to find a gift for a woman in your life, you probably can’t go wrong if you remember these three words: handmade, personalized, luxury. Where men generally like gifts that have some utilitarian or entertainment value, women tend to prefer gifts that are beautiful (just for the sake of being beautiful) or meaningful.

Handmade

Let me clarify what I mean by “handmade.” I don’t mean homemade. I don’t mean DIY. I mean handmade by true artisans or craftsmen who have honed their skills over decades.

One option? Paper. Paper? Yes, paper. As odd as it may sound, most women love beautiful paper. I’m still holding on to my personal stationary and wrapping paper I bought in Italy after my first child was born. He’s 7.5. (Did I mention I L.O.V.E. LOVE Italy?). It also took me 15 years to run out of the personalized stationery notes I received as a wedding gift. Needless to say, I’m stingy with meaningful paper. Don’t get me started on my lifetime notebook/journal stockpile. I just can’t let go.

Personalized

While having the recipient’s name embossed on a gift (like the aforementioned wedding gift) is a great way to personalize a gift, another way is to find something so perfectly “them” that you can’t pass it up, like it was made just for them. I once received a Wes Anderson book from my law firm partner because she thought it felt like me. She had no idea how much I loved Wes Anderson movies, she just knew me well enough to know I’d love it. And guess what? I love that book so much, and I smile every time I look at it. I equally love how much she gets me. It doesn’t have my name on it, but it’s a very personalized gift.

Luxury

Quite simply, you can’t go wrong with luxury. Every luxury item I own was a gift from Mr. Mame or something I bought it at an estate sale. Luxury is just that, a luxury. At the last dinner I had with a couple of girlfriends, one really wanted a luxury handbag and said she will patiently wait until her husband buys her one. She wants it, but she won’t buy it for herself. The perfect gift for her. A birdie might have to let him know. I also have two girlfriends who went to Vegas this year and got into the big spender mindset. What did they buy? Luxury. Again, not the norm, luxury.

One last reminder/tip/idea.

Don’t forget presentation. Special wrapping and a personalized note or story adds a gift to the gift. I’m a sucker for wrapping paper, but I’m terrible at wrapping gifts. If this is you, see if the retailer wraps gifts (usually free) or take it to be wrapped somewhere (the place I use is $6).

Another idea to add a sprinkle of special to your gift is a “letter from Santa.” I smile just thinking about giving or receiving this. It could be very funny.

I hope these gift ideas help inspire you to find the perfect gifts this year.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my first Gift Guide!

- Myrna

Myrna Mame is for those with the most discerning taste, who are looking for an alternative to “the same sort of nothing” — those who value style over conformity, investment over spending and treasuring over consumption.

I am a law firm owner, wife, mother, overcomer, vintage collector, pre-code movie enthusiast, and a supporter of artisans. My1964 master closet is pretty small and most items in it have been with me for years. I avoid fleeting, disposable fashion and trends. When I purchase, I choose quality items I love that will last past the trends.

I have devoted my career thus far to the law and a lawyer I will always be. But, facing a life battling brain cancer caused me to reflect on my time and the pursuit of my passions. My love for beautiful things, artisan goods, travel, and style led me to create Myrna Mame.